


Healing is Difficult

by scissoroe



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 18:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1479781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scissoroe/pseuds/scissoroe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>right ok so this is a thing i started writing like 3 months ago one night and i found it recently and all of a sudden i had parts of chapters written so here's what i decided was the first "chapter" even though it's really short<br/>i hope you enjoy it but i dont expect you to</p>
    </blockquote>





	Healing is Difficult

**Author's Note:**

> right ok so this is a thing i started writing like 3 months ago one night and i found it recently and all of a sudden i had parts of chapters written so here's what i decided was the first "chapter" even though it's really short  
> i hope you enjoy it but i dont expect you to

#1

They were rolling around a field, trying to tickle each other and giggling like school girls as a result. Liebgott felt the tiniest littlest bit ashamed of himself for acting like such a dame, but the sound of Web’s lilting laughter cleared his head of any such thoughts.  
The grass was tall and green and soft, so soft. The field seemed to roll on forever, if you ignored their car sitting off in the distance. The field was nestled up in hills that rolled on and on and on. If you squinted hard enough you could pick out the black shapes that were cows on a hill nearby. Web also knew that if you walked far enough up the hill that they were at the base of, you would be able to see the rickety little shack. That Web had bought. And Liebgott didn’t know about.  
Technically, he hadn’t bought it as such. He and his brother and sister had each inherited their own piece of the land from their grandfather, and Web had simply paid his siblings for their pieces. Both were busy reaping the rewards of the post-war boom, working and making families and not needing a piece of land in the middle of nowhere. 

Lieb watched as Web drifted away again, to some place in his mind where he somehow makes everything better. Web was sitting there, looking over the hills, running his fingers through the grass. Joe knew better than to disturb him, and felt no urgent need to pester him. He settled backwards on to the picnic blanket and tucked his arms behind his head. The hills and the open landscape was so generic, so well-known and in all overdone, yet Joe couldn’t escape the niggling feeling of déjà vu in the back of his mind. He’d been here before, and when he had it wasn’t good.

Web pulled himself back to Joe just as he saw his lover’s face slip. Joe’s only emotions were horny and angry; he didn’t do worried, yet his face screamed it. Web was trying to put some helpful words together when Joe glanced over at him and saw that he had noticed. Webster watched his entire face harden into something too similar to how he’d been during the war. 

“Let’s go walking.” 

“Sure Joe, just let me pick up the picnic stuff and put it in the car and we ca-“

“Fuck it, we’ll walk back through this way to the car anyway, and do you see anyone else around to steal anything?” He snapped, standing up agitatedly. Web was beyond scared, and close to panicking himself out of his mind.

Joe had to know why he knew this place, he had to figure out why it was familiar. Why did he know it, why was it so bad, why was he so scared. Web was the one who had the emotions and feelings and knew how to deal with them, not him.

They strolled- well, Lieb almost burst into a run, only to be held back by Web acting as a dead weight on his arm- for a while until they could both see the little building. Lieb felt Web’s palm get sweaty, but his head was so fucked up with the déjà vu shit that he barely recognised it.

They were standing a few yards away when Web cleared his throat and looked up at Liebgott. 

“The shack is ours,” he rushed out before he could talk himself out of it anymore.

Looking at the wood panelling and the tiny chimney seemed to set the cogs in motion in Lieb’s mind. His head was an absolute mess.

Web watched as Joe sank to the ground and wrapped his arms around his knees, and buried his head in the gap. Web heard him very audibly try to get his breathing back into check; Joe was sucking in as much air as he could before feebly puffing it back out again. 

“I… can’t, Web, I can’t.” whispered Liebgott between shuddery breaths. Webster put his hands on either side of Lieb’s face and brought his head up so that he could meet his eyes. The tears in Joe’s eyes were close to flowing over. The only time that Webster had ever seen Joe cry was in Landsberg all those years ago. He couldn’t think of what was tormenting Joe like this- neither of them were in danger, they weren’t in a concentration camp; they were in the middle of a field in America, far away from the war and the Nazis and the Holocaust.

Surely he couldn’t be that afraid of them living in the shack together? They already lived in the first affordable apartment they could find after they came out to their families. Why would the shack be any different?

Joe blinked hard and tried to swap whatever this shit he was feeling for bitterness or anger or anything else. He could see the sheer panic on Web’s cute little face but couldn’t stop the memories long enough to put either of them out of their misery.

Web scanned his surroundings once more, desperately searching for anything that could be triggering Lieb. It wasn’t until that he caught a glimpse of their car in the distance that the hills, the shack, and Liebgott all fell into place.

“Holy fucking shit.” Web sank to his knees and dragged his hands through his hair, tugging at the roots. “I fucking bought that Commandant’s land. How did I not fucking see it?! Every single piece of grass on this damn hill is identical to his!” In a teary-eyed fumble they ended up sitting on the grass wrapped up in each other’s arms, desperately clutching onto one another. “I’m so sorry” Web eventually whispered into Liebgott’s hair. Lieb untangled his head from the mass of arms and legs and looked at Web’s sullen and tear-streaked face. He was still stuck in his own head, trapped by emotions he’d only experienced in the war. The only thing that seemed relatively coherent in his mind was that he needed to face his fear. 

Joe pushed himself to his feet and dragged Web up with him. He used one hand to scrub his face with his sleeve and the other to grip onto Webster’s.

“Joe? What are we doing?” Web asked, trying to make sense of his actions. Liebgott grunted and began towing Web up the hill and towards the little shack. He shoved the rickety wooden door open with his shoulder and dragged Webster inside with him. They both stood just inside the doorway, taking in the dusty furniture and the little fireplace tucked in the back corner. 

“It’s a hut. It’s just an ordinary hut with ordinary things… it’s different to the Commandant’s,” Liebgott was walking around the room, running his fingertips over the table and the edge of the sink and the covers on the bed. Web was sniffling and trying not to let any more tears escape. Joe did another lap of the room before lowering himself on to the bed. “This is not the Commandant’s shack,” He whispered. “It’s not.” 

Web settled beside him and slipped his arm around Liebgott’s waist. “This is not the Commandant’s shack.” He confirmed, praying that his voice wouldn’t come out shaky. They both sat in silent contemplation for a while, mulling over memories of the war and other sufferings that they were stuck with. Liebgott recognised that as much as he knew that their shack was theirs and not a Nazi officer’s, he couldn’t live there healthily. The reminders would drive him- and Web- even more insane than they already were. Webster was struggling to convince himself that it wasn’t his fault that Liebgott had a breakdown. 

Joe twisted himself round to face Webster, looking more composed than before. “Most of our damn friends are builders of some sort, so it’s about fucking time they built some shit for us. We’ll tear that piece of shit shack down and have them build us a damn fucking good house. We didn’t win the fucking war to live in a shack; we fought so that two gay fellas can live together in a damn fine house!” Lieb had slipped slightly to the side and was gesturing animatedly with his hands. “If we build our new house in this exact spot we will have the best view out of all of us, except for maybe Winters and Nix but they live in a fucking palace.” Web found himself in one of those rare occasions where words failed him. Instead he planted his hands on either side of Joe’s face and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Joe kissed him back before pulling his head away slightly. “We will do this together. We are together, and we will beat this together.” He whispered against Webster’s lips.

“Always” Web whispered back.


End file.
